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Dieday

I woke up dead.

Posted on 2014.05.14 at 14:06
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Holy crap, I had a nice and disturbing dream. I know a weird way to describe, but you'll see.

I can't remember what I was dreaming about orginally, but I was back in the hospital morgue area which I visited in year 10 during work experience. The experience was notable because this is where I saw preserved human brains in the anatomy museum for the first time, but it was right in the middle of my 'neurons' obsession.

I was running around, and somehow I realized I was dreaming. A lucid dream! I was expecting to wake up, because that's what tends to happen at this stage, but I could see I was deep in the dream delusion. I was trying to remember what I had to do in a lucid dream, as I realized I could do anything now (without fear of over exciment waking me up) because I wasn't going to wake up. From that I concluded that I was actually dead. My immediate reaction to that was the 'aha experience' because I has proved my hypothesis right. My 'hypothesis' was that your dreams are actually visits to the afterlife. When you die, you stay in the dream world forever. I actually considered this when I was a child. I tried to wake up by feeling my body lying in bed (this is what happens when I wake from a lucid dream, I can feel myself lying in bed while the dream hallucination turns into a daydream). I tried to wake up and couldn't. I am dead for sure! Goodbye life. Ah well, at least I 'proved' my hypothesis.

The next bit I can't remember well, which sucks. But I remembered what I was supposed to do in a lucid dream. 'That's right, I need to stimulate the pleasure centre!' and that's what I did. But I realized how useless it was because the purpose of pleasure was to generate life, and I was dead. Anyway, I did it by doing a reverse panic attack thing, can't remember well. After getting a few zaps in, I woke up. Not to mention, when I did wake up, the emotional state from the dream lasted, and it was like I generated enough life in the dream to come back from the dead. I woke up approx 3:30am and I felt so awake that I almost got out of bed. But after five minutes or so, the dream confusion went away and I fell back asleep pretty easily.

So yeah, that was an interesting dream. Especially that bit where I thought I was dead. Because while I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep I was thinking about dying in my sleep. I don't know why, I think I was thinking about fear of going under generali anethesia, and overdosing on it (that is how we kill mice by 'putting them to sleep'). Before I actually fall asleep, I start to lose control of my thoughts. A bit hard to explain what this, but like my thoughts are not actually being generated by myself, and that I start to seriously consider some of these thoughts. I consider it a semi delusional state but if I put 'effort' I can regain control of my thoughts. For example, I had this thought that if I fall asleep, I will die. It was freaky, and using reason was waking me up/waking up increased reason. But the more I got closer to sleep, the more I believed this but that was also waking me up because I need to stay awake to not die. So in the dream, it made sense that I was dead, even though I didn't remember what happened before fall asleep in the dream. Just remembering back.

It's also funny how I automatically 'know' some things in dreams, lucid or not. There are levels of lucidity and parts of the dream delusion still persist. In this case, I didn't reach a very high level of lucidity, as I actually believed I was in the after life. It's hard to even say that I was aware I was dreaming as 'the after life is a perminant dream world' doesn't really count as 'I know I am dreaming'. It did feel like I had control of myself and was self aware in the dream, but it's hard to even argue that. I wonder if there is some sort of test to 'prove' one is self aware in a dream.

Comments:


Katie Pike
Threshold reached!! snarfywarning at 2014-05-14 19:19 (UTC) (Link)
I love lucid dreams!!!
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